Epilogue to My 2-Piece Swuimsuit

It would be cruel of me to not include this final portion of my first-Idaho-summer swimsuit story. If you haven’t yet, be sure to read start at the beginning of the story at I’m a 2-Piece Swimsuit in a 1-Piece Town.

On Labor Day weekend, a couple months after my first swimsuit experience, my husband and I took our kids to the nearby, very large pool complex in Lava Hot Springs (if you’re familiar).

Our then 8-year-old daughter finally showed interest in learning how to properly dive off the diving board that day.  Like the award-winning mother I pretend I am, I was going to teach her.

With our toes on the edge of the deep-end, I talked her through all the steps:  bend your knees, make a pizza slice above your head with your arms, make sure your fingers hit the water first.  Then, like a good mother, of course, I had to get on the diving board to show her how it was done.

So I climbed the lowest diving board and loudly explained all the steps again while she (and everyone else around us) watched from the side of the pool.  With my best calm, I-do-this-all-the-time face, I slowly tip my body forward so she could watch all the “how-tos” that I just explained.

And then it happened.

I knew it as soon as I hit the water.

As my body elegantly, ahem, entered the water finger tips first, I lost my boy shorts.

Totally gone.

My pasty butt was 100% mooning the poor (…or lucky) 14-year-old boy on the high dive above me – not to mention the entire rest of the pool viewers.

This was the stuff of nightmares.  Me, underwater, half-naked for the world to see.

Fortunately, my ninja-mom reflexes kicked in immediately and I smashed my legs together to catch my bottoms between my ankles.  With my goggle-less eyes squeezed shut, I fumbled around 6-feet under water to wrench my shorts back up to where they belonged.

I wasn’t going to surface a second before I was completely clothed.  With sheer (no pun intended) desperation, I put myself together and came up gasping for air while swimming to the ladder acting like that didn’t just happen.

As I came up out of the pool, clutching my bottoms to my body, I couldn’t help but think:

This wouldn’t have happened if I were wearing a 1-piece swimsuit.