Mother's Day 2020

About 10 years ago, Ben and I started church shopping.

If church-shopping is a new term to you, it’s where you go to a different church each Sunday trying to find the church that’s “just right” for you.  In all honesty, it’s a little bit like Goldilocks and the Three Bears as you figure out which porridge is too hot or too cold.

This church doesn’t believe what we believe.  We can’t go here.

These people dress too fancy.  I don’t feel comfortable here.

This one gives popsicles to the kids after service.  I like it.

We were on our church shopping quest because we were newly married and going to have babies.  And church shopping seemed like the right thing to do at that point.

You’re supposed to take your babies to church, right?

At least, I think that’s what we were supposed to do at that point.

We were basically church shopping for our future kids.  Which was funny, seeing as I didn’t even know what kind of church I wanted to go to.  I had been on a theological roller coaster up until that point in my life.  (Correction: I was still on my theological roller coaster.)  I knew what kind of church I didn’t want to go to, but I wasn’t sure what “just right” looked like.

So here we are.  Ben, solid in his beliefs and ideas about church.  Me, completely confused about my beliefs and ideas about church.  And us, together, church shopping for our currently, non-existent future baby.

Perfect.

One Sunday morning in May (Mother’s Day, actually), we walked into a church in suburban Chicago.  It was a church that my Mom recommended.  A church that my Mom had never even been to and frankly not one she would probably ever attend.  But my mom, who had witnessed my theological roller coaster for the past 20-some years was always subtly pointing out different churches in our area - never pushing, always just a nonchalant mention here and there.  (She was so subtle, I don’t even think I noticed it until I started writing this post.  Moms are clever.) 

As we walked through the door of this perfect little-steepled church with a big green lawn and tulips popping up on the sidewalk edges, someone shoved a piece of paper into my hand (as people do when you walk into most churches).

It was a half sheet of pink paper with a Bible verse typed on it.  I think I barely looked at it for the first half hour I held it in my hand.

Turns out, it was a piece of paper that would follow me around for the next decade.  I would have it under a magnet on the refrigerator in some years.  For other years, I would know exactly what shoe box it was in, and I would dig out the paper as the hot tears of young motherhood streamed down my face.

The irony is that, up to that point, I didn’t have very happy feelings about anything in the Bible.  Quite frankly, the Bible made me uncomfortable, confused, and many times angry.  Had you told me ten years ago that I would tote around a pink Bible verse for a decade, I would have laughed you off that perfect suburban church lawn.

So here is my Mother’s Day gift to you.  If I could print it out on pink paper and shove it in your hand, I would – trust me.

I’ve added emphasis to the particular verses that bring me peace and pause in tough times.

Regardless of where you find yourself on your theological roller coaster (Lord knows you won’t get any judgement from me!), I hope you know that you are a good mom.  What you’re doing is enough.  Your efforts are not unnoticed.  And you, lady, are freaking amazing.

(Side note - historians and theologians tend to agree that this portion of the Bible was written by a king’s mother.  She was trying to explain what kind of woman her son should marry.  He had very bad taste in women.)

A Wife of Noble Character

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
    She is more precious than rubies.
Her husband can trust her,
    and she will greatly enrich his life.
She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.

She finds wool and flax
    and busily spins it.
She is like a merchant’s ship,
    bringing her food from afar.
She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
    and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
    with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She is energetic and strong,
    a hard worker.
She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
    her lamp burns late into the night.

Her hands are busy spinning thread,
    her fingers twisting fiber.
She extends a helping hand to the poor
    and opens her arms to the needy.
She has no fear of winter for her household,
    for everyone has warm clothes.

She makes her own bedspreads.
    She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
Her husband is well known at the city gates,
    where he sits with the other civic leaders.
She makes belted linen garments
    and sashes to sell to the merchants.

She is clothed with strength and dignity,
    and she laughs without fear of the future.
When she speaks, her words are wise,
    and she gives instructions with kindness.
She carefully watches everything in her household
    and suffers nothing from laziness.

Her children stand and bless her.
   Her husband praises her:
“There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
    but you surpass them all!”

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
    but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
 Reward her for all she has done.
    Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

Proverbs 31:10-31

Happy Mother’s Day, Friends.