Your Path: The Path Your Free Time Takes
Hey Friends – if you’re swinging by for the first time, we are smack in the middle of a blog series called “Your Path”. Last week, I wrote about taking a good hard look at how we spend 100,000 hours of our lives (link at the bottom of this post, if you missed it).
This week, I want to touch on the path our free time takes. You remember free time, right? That’s the time we squeeze in between work and sleep…and chores and errands and running the kids everywhere? I specifically want to talk about putting your weekends on a path where free time actually feels like free time.
You know, about 150 years ago, American workers went on strike and fought (actual riots broke out – people died) for their right to more free time in their lives, which ultimately resulted in one of our favorite summer BBQ holidays, Labor Day. Back in the late-1800s, the folks who were fighting for better labor rights even had a catchy slogan around it. It went something like “8 hours labour, 8 hours recreation, 8 hours rest!”.* Not quite as punchy as mottos today, but I imagine they had more artistic liberties outside the confines of the beloved hashtag. Other countries had already put laws in place for 10-12 hour workdays*, but God Bless America…we wanted to do it better.
I don’t know about you, but I am so thankful for the 8 hours I get to put my feet up every day and just relax and do whatever I want. Not to mention, that golden weekend that our predecessors fought so hard for. Two whole blessed days, all to yourself, for “recreation”, as they said back then. Isn’t it great??
I’m joking.
You’re laughing, right?
My days and weeks look nothing like that! What’s happened to us in the past 150 years?
I don’t know about you, but my guess is that most of our days look like this: wake up before the kids (and the sun) to get ready for the day, wake the kids up and get them ready for their day, get everyone to their places (kids to school/day care, adults to work), work your tail off, speed out of the office in time to get the kids before day care starts charging extra, get dinner on the table, bath time scrub down, bedtime for the kids, before finally crashing on the couch in front of bad reality TV.
Repeat 5 times to make a whole week.
That sentence was even exhausting to write! There didn’t seem to be even one free hour in there. No wonder we can’t wait for the weekend come Friday at 5pm! We live for the weekend.
Only problem is, the weekend looks something like this: load up on groceries, make a Target run, do 462 loads of laundry (if there are only 7 days in a week, you should not have more than 7 outfits in your hamper!), grab supplies from Home Depot for whatever project you have going on, play date (multiply by however many kids you have), put all the groceries away (why did we buy so much produce that needs to be washed!?!), oh shoot – swim lessons are in 20 minutes, meal plan and prep for the week, have we done baths in the past few days?, bedtime for kids…and can’t even make it to the couch for bad TV.
We’ve got to do better. We’re running ourselves ragged. We deserve better. Yes, there’s a lot to be done, but our bodies need rest. Our brains need rest. We were not designed to go non-stop.
So here’s my challenge to you:
Carve out ONE WHOLE day in the week to rest. That means no laundry, no errands, no meal prep (only if that’s truly how you love to spend your time!), etc. Maybe it sounds crazy and impossible, but I’m preaching common sense and sanity here.
Don’t know how to get there? Here are some ideas:
1. Squeeze in a weekend errand or chore on a weeknight
I know you’re already beat by the end of the day, but just 1 “to do” on 1 weeknight. Grab the groceries on your way home from work. Hit Target during your lunch break. Do just 1 load of laundry on a weeknight.
And even better, ask your spouse to do one too. Your spouse is more capable than you think. Also, you don’t need to control everything. If they don’t do it exactly how you would have done it, your response is still “Thanks, Honey.”
2. Pay someone to do a chore you hate
I’m a firm believer that money can’t buy happiness. But I also believe that if you can find a way to use money to make more time for yourself, you’ve found a golden nugget.
If you come in from mowing the lawn every Saturday grumpy, because you hate mowing the lawn…wait for it…wait for it…pay someone to mow the dang lawn! You’re not only getting back time, but you’re also removing your grumpy mood from quality time with your family. Same goes for scrubbing toilets and ironing (I hate button down shirts with a passion. I love dry cleaners…also with a passion.)
And yes, you might have to reprioritize your budget, unless you have a whole bunch of extra cash lying around or you planted that elusive money tree in your backyard while you were grumpily mowing the lawn. But creating extra time in your life might make you happier than another pile of “must haves” from the Spot section at Target.
3. Say “NO” to excessive activities
Weekend activities come in two forms: 1) dragging your family around to do all-the-things (even if they’re fun) and 2) organized kids activities.
I’m sure you have so many fun things in your community that you and your kids could be doing on any given weekend. But hear this – you don’t have to do them. At least not all of them. Don’t get sucked into FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). Quality family time can exist outside of running yourself ragged all over town doing all-the-things. Remember game night? Movie night? A picnic lunch at your kids favorite playground?
Same goes for all the sports and activities. But Erica, little Johnny needs to learn how to swim! I can’t say no to swim lessons! Yes, of course he needs to learn how to swim. But what about committing to a season of no swim lessons, and instead, you go to your local pool or YMCA to swim as a family? Trust me, little Johnny will learn to swim if you put him in the pool every week. Plus, you’ll be the one who gets to catch him when he does his first 2 doggie paddles to you. You’ll probably even take him out for ice cream afterward to celebrate, because you’re all so excited. (You can pay for the ice cream with the money you’re saving on swim lessons.)
So what do you think?
It might not happen overnight…or even in one weekend. It’ll take practice. But it’s worth a shot.
I gave you ideas on how to get there, but it’s up to you to figure out what you and your family will do with your newly found free day. That’s even more than 8 hours. Imagine that.
Enjoy this post? Check out the rest of the “Your Path” series:
Your Path: Changing Your Career Path
Your Path: When Faith Walks Across Your Path
Is Prince Harry the Ultimate Path-Changer?
